Doctor Paul’s BlogSpot

April 5, 2009

Letter To Dr. Paul: Flirting With A Married Man

Filed under: Blogroll, Letters To Doc, Uncategorized — drpaul @ 10:32 pm

Dear Dr. Paul, I love your advice. I’m 51. I’ve been slowly getting to know and flirting with a Fedex man that comes to my office at the hospital where I work for the past 2 months. He likes my humor and smiles a lot when he comes around. However, when I asked him how his Xmas was he said he spent it like normal people and he had dinner with his wife. He then stopped talking and there was a long pause, then I said:”you mean your EX-wife don’t you?” Then he said yes and continued to look and smile at me and talk to me for a couple of minutes. Is he trying to let me know he’s back with his ex, or is he just testing my reaction? They do have a teenage son together whom he is very close to. I’ve asked 3 women and one man for his reaction to what he said. Please help. Thanks

Doc’s Response:
Dear Ms. H., I really discovered gold in your letter…mmm…let me see…what makes you think that the man is not married?…and finally you asked Doctor Paul for “advice”…not your girl friends…they have the same questions you have, and have no answers…you did ask a man as well…did he question if you were sure that he was divorced?…many people engage in what they believe to be harmless flirting…is that the case here?…even maybe if they are married?…I spoke with our delivery person form another company (not Fedex)…he said he does not wear a ring because of the packages etc. that he handles…perhaps that is the case…perhaps not…of course if you really want to find out go to your city’s web site and check out vital statistics to see if he is married or divorce…let’s say that he is divorced…he probably has an interest in sports…run a test…”by the way Mr. Fedex man, I have been given a couple tickets to the (hockey, baseball, soccer, basketball) game…college or pro…for (be specific here) two weeks from Saturday….would you like to go with me & explain some of the finer points of the game to me?…now the last part is really important because all guys want to think that they are experts on sports…you have not only given him an invitation, but you have given him a challenge as well…you have stroked his ego…he is thinking…”If I say no, she will think that I don’t know that much about sports”…so he will probably say yes…if he says no…he may give you a reason that is why you make it 2 weeks away…then you can say two things “is it because you are married, or you are not that much into sports?”…he will have an easier time of it answering the first question than he will the second…because the second question has manliness written all over it…All The Best!


1 Comment »

  1. Hi Dr. Paul. My name’s Mary and I’m 35 years old. Still single with no kids. I have a boyfriend who’s 39 years old, divorced. The problem is that we have a long distance relationship. We’ve been together for 7 months now. He is really sweet and I REALLY love him. Whe he comes to visit me he’s always telling me about the idea he has about coming to live here and getting his own bussiness here. He recently asked me HYPOTHETICALLY that if I would marry him… I didn’t know what to say, I was thinking of a YES but somewhere I was afraid of the why was he asking me that if it was only HYPOTHETICALLY. After I knew what I was supposed to answer… the truth. I guess I was a little bit scared of what would come after that, something negative. I’ve seen your videos and taken some notes, but what I think I must change is that I need to be a more easygoing person. I need to learn how to take things, for example comments, less serious. He’s the kind of guy that makes jokes, I want to think that he makes comments not in the bad way but with my temper I get mad really fast and I don’t like that about myself. So I guess what I’m asking is:
    1) How do I control my temper?; How can I learn not to get mad so easily?
    2) Why do you think he asked me that question hypothetically?
    3) How can I keep the magic, his interest being far?
    I’m the kind of person that doesn’t believe that long distance relationships are not good. I think that it depends on the couple. Also, he has dedicated me 4 beautiful songs where he is telling me that he loves me. I really don’t want to loose him, he is very special to me. Please help me so that that hypothetical question becomes real.
    Thank you very much for takimg the time to read this.
    Congratulations!! I love your web page and the videos.

    Comment by Mary Silva — February 12, 2010 @ 5:59 am

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