Doctor Paul’s BlogSpot

January 31, 2009

Letter To Dr. Paul: Bi-Polar Disorder & Sex

Filed under: Blogroll, Letters To Doc — drpaul @ 12:58 am

Dear Dr. Paul,

I was showing your website off to one of my friends (your web designer is awesome) and we came across your video on depression’s effects on sex drive. My curiosity was sparked so I watched the video. I immediately watched it again. I have suffered from depression most of my life. I have recently been diagnosed as having bipolar disorder. For those that may not know, bipolar disorder is characterized by periods of normal mood mixed with episodes of depression and mania. In the video, you state that depression is a depressed mood. This prevents you from getting from point A to point B when having sex. Mania is on the other side of that spectrum. Everything is heightened and feels good, sex included.

I wanted to see if there was any more information on sex drive and the manic state of bipolar disorder. I began by searching through your archives. I was surprised not to get any hits. Expert Village offered a few videos and articles, but nothing with any substance. I tried a Google search and came up with over 3 million hits. None of them were based on research and most consisted of blog excerpts. My last hope was to search my universities database. Again, there was nothing that addressed my question. I have been married for over six years and know without a doubt that mania has an effect on sex drive and untreated bipolar disorder creates such sexual chaos that it interferes with the health of the relationship.

When my husband and I first got married sex was great. I was on a high from the excitement of the wedding and the events that surrounded it. This mania carried us through for a couple of months. Then my mood changed. I became irritable and had no interest in sex. I was demanding, pushy, and very hard to live with. We began to fight, sometimes ferociously. Then my mood would switch, I would regain an interest in sex, and things would settle down. This fickle interest in sex confused my husband. He began to take it personally, thinking that I did not really love him or find him attractive. I tried to reassure him that the problem was mine, but I could not offer him a reasonable explanation of why this was.

My husband’s reaction to all of this changed with time. At first he was concerned, and then confused. Finally he stopped caring all together. He found other ways to meet his needs. I laid in my depression, plotting ways to kill him. We drifted further apart. After several months of this we separated and began the divorce process. The stress of it all was too much and I had myself Baker Acted. That is when I was diagnosed as bipolar and put on the correct medicine. Before that time, I was being treated with antidepressants. The medicine actually made the bipolar intensify. Once the medicine, and me, was stabilized everything changed. My husband moved back in and we decided to rebuild our lives together.

Putting the marriage back in order has been a struggle. We know that will take time. We are realistic about that. Since my medicine has become effective, my sex drive has changed. I am finally able to relax and let go. Last night I got from point A to point B in the most exhilarating way. I have never experienced sex like this before. We also enjoy each other on a more regular basis. I no longer have to psych myself up to have sex. I am an active participant and I love it.

I am sure I am not the only person who had this experience or one similar. Why anybody hasn’t chosen to do real research on this topic? As I see it, it is a real and pressing problem.

A Devoted Fan,



January 23, 2009


Filed under: Uncategorized — drpaul @ 9:33 pm

The very word to some sounds like scratching ones nails on a chalkboard…(that would be my producer, Mike)…A Latin word meaning basically something of an ominous quality…such words as gravity are based on this…have you experienced gravitas?…truly it means slightly different things to diferent people…for us it will take on the physics term meaning a force that draws one set of particles to another…we will look at it as that force drawing two people toward each other…and I mean now!…keep in mind that the force of gravity as I recall is 32 feet per second…have you ever been drawn to someone that quickly?…maybe you have…now there are many relationship gurus who will tell you that this is not a good thing!…I know, you are expecting what you are going to get…What does Doctor Paul say?….Torofecundi (a polite way of saying B.S.)….If you are fortunate enough in your lifetime to be magnetically drawn to a potential partner or even a lifetime relationship (and please only if you are available)…DO IT…this may be the way of destiny telling you that this is here for you…the powers that be have now made it possible to have the happiness that you so deeply desire…and you are going to question it?…he or she who hesitates etc. for any reason will remain in their same mundane world from that point forward through the rest of their lives…why put that sentence on yourself?…Have you heard that a great cataclysmic event will occur on December 21st. 2012?…will it happen?…maybe…maybe not…but just in case, wouldn’t you just hate it if you passed up in life that very person that was meant for you?…let’s see…that gives us just about three years eleven months…mmmm…as I have said…life is not a dress rehearsal…so GRAVITAS ON!…This is Doctor Paul…”May your fantasies of today be your realities of tomorrow!” (Note: you may see Doctor Paul at where you may also link to his latest videos on expert village)…(All of Doctor Paul’s media items are copyrighted)

January 17, 2009


Filed under: Blogroll, Uncategorized — drpaul @ 8:21 pm

I frequently get callers and e-mail from those who are impatient…ladies…if a man has just come off a long relationship and or marriage…at least 1 year plus or what ever seems long to him…give it time…don’t push him…I am amazed at the women who contact me and say…”if only I had given him more time”…let’s face it…he is vulnurable, but he isn’t over her…and do not get outraged if he happens to use her name during sex by accident…now this may really floor you…that can mean that he is making a transfer in his mind from her to you…it doesn’t have to happen during sex it may be a slip at any time…this is true especially if she dumped him…I know there are ralationship consultants who tell you to get out if he does that…usually these are women telling you this…well Doctor Paul is telling you as a man not what you want to hear but rather the reality of what is…true, I disagree with consultants, counselors, and would be other so-called experts who pander to you in an effort to have you “hang”
with them…you will hang all right…you will hang your potential relationship out to dry…and by the way…for both men and women…however, if the other says I don’t want to see you I need more time…don’t let them go there…if they say they want to slow it down because they just got out of a relationship and are still in emotional trauma that is OK…if they say they don’t want to continue seeing you for a while…watch out..they may be trying to patch things up with the ex…even though she may not want him she doesn’t want anyone else to have him either…an ego thing or she doesn’t want to see him be happy…of course this is a tough call…one thing to remember…if you are the second woman that he is seeing after a break up…your chances are better that it is not a re-bound and that he won’t go back to the ex…in other words…the second mouse gets the cheese (the first one gat whacked in the trap)…This is Doctor Paul…”May your fantasies of today be your realities of tomorrow”…(this and all Doctor Paul items are copyrighted)

January 14, 2009

Letter To Dr. Paul: Family & Freinds’ Judgement

Filed under: Blogroll, Letters To Doc, Uncategorized — drpaul @ 1:22 pm

Dear Dr. Paul,
I had some nice dates with this guy and he told me he had growing feelings toward me, but he told all his friend and family about me after the second date. I feel he was told some negatives things because he is white and am black. Then he stopped calling me avoiding dates with me, and I feel really sad and silly for trying to call him but i cant stop thinking about him?

Dr. Paul’s Response:

You sound like a very sincere and trusting person who feels the sting of being rejected in what sounds like a budding love…that sting is all the more painful because even though you did not state it directly, you felt as if you were being judged not on your qualities as a person but rather on the pigment of your skin…you aren’t only the better person…you are very fortunate…why?…because you discovered early on what type of undesirable family values you were dealing with…and…most importantly…what a weak willed individual you became interested in…ask yourself this question…Would I really want a man who has so little strength of character that he allows others to control his life for him?…do you think he will change?…never!…take it from Doctor Paul…people do not change!…I will not tell you what you want to hear…I will tell you the truth as I see it…be thankful that destiny has given you the gift of seeing reality before it was too late…All The Best!

January 4, 2009

Letter To Dr. Paul – Dating Under Age

Filed under: Blogroll, Letters To Doc, Uncategorized — drpaul @ 9:06 pm

Dear Dr. Paul,

I’d like to start off by telling u that im 18…the other day i met this new girl at work. she is 16 and i feel like i really connected with her. now we both work at the same place which is a grocery store where we are always busy and never really have time to talk. i wanted to ask you to give me some advice on how to get this girls number and how to ask her out on a date…it is also really hard for me to see her because she works every other weekend meaning that i wont see her for a whole 2 weeks…long story short i met this new girl at work, i feel like we really connected, and i want to get to know her better, what to get her number and ask her out on a date.

Doc’s Response:

In answer to your question…you are legally an adult and the girl you are talking about is under 18 (you said she is 16)…I would suggest that you get interested in someone who is legally an adult…Doctor Paul’s advice?…don’t even think it…do not break the law…your whole future depends on it…trust me…there are many women out there who are over 18 and may be very interested in you…All The Best!

Happy New Year to all of our listeners, viewers and readers

Filed under: Blogroll, Uncategorized — drpaul @ 8:17 pm

Sex & The New Year!

I thought that would get your attention…understand this pearl from Doctor Paul…this may have an echo of Zen to it but bear with me…sexiness is present when it is subtle…when you try to be sexy you are not…that fine line between sensuality and being overt may be as simple as wearing a too low cut top instead of one that is draped across one shoulder…are there levels of class?…of course…I was recently at gathering where the subject of class became a hotly debated item…there are those among us who have a certain charisma…poise…elegance…and taste…those who do not can observe and bring it to themselves…if they choose to …that coveted concept of style…it is true that class…sophistication…and elegance cannot be purchased…all of us have seen celebrities and stars who have the money but never could hope to acquire through money or any means that element that they desire most…namely class. Now back to sex…(think I had forgotten?…never…now to the sharper reader/observer here is the way…be subtle…and in closing I want you to answer this question of yourself when you look into a mirror before you are going out for the evening…would James Bond approach me if I were dressed the way I am now?…if he is the type you want then dress the part…remember if you always do what you’ve always done…then you’ll always get
what you’ve always got…All The Best!…Doctor Paul

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